She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
