he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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