take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize