mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
