And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
