Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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