Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
