So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
