HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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