Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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