I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
