Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize