So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
vagina is talking i cant
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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