Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
