i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
