We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
