Screwed.edu
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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