every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
