I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My penis needs a shock collar
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My feet surprised me
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
