I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
not ubering you a puppy
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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