Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Farmville is her only friend.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
