This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
