I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
