i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
