Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize