1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
