Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
