Its about making memories worth repressing
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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