she was so not down for the gang bang
I think I won the penis lottery.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
