is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
the raccoons are back...
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