My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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