You're so nebulous sometimes
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
