I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
