In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
