"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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