I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
