the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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