Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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