hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
