I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
