Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
