I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
