Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
