If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
