butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
it was like having sex with a tree stump
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
