you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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