69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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