This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Congratulations! We have a period
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
