Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
