Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
