Jerry, you need to find god
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
