They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
