Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
