at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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