go do what you do best...puke behind churches
and you said cock pushups were impossible
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
