allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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