So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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