I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize