I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
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