I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
