I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize