if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
