Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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