TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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