oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
