Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
