didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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