i dont even know how to be here
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
