Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
