i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
