dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
