I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
