Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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