He asked me if I "almost moaned"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
